fears vs excitement

So, I made it official and dropped the TKD class. I felt sure of doing that, but now need to get on the ball about finding a class that I can do. My friend, Michelle, is doing Zumba and likes it. That has been recommended to me, so I'm going to do more to check into that.
About the steps I'm taking for the surgery. I've been reading blogs and forums and finding some info that might be helpful for me to put on here. I will later. For now, this is still going to be my rant and place to let out my fears and excitement.
Fears: What if they don't approve my surgery? I finally see that it is possible for me to lose weight and what if they take that "light at the end of the tunnel" away?
Fears: What if I don't handle the surgery well? What if my body/intestines hates me for doing this? What if I dump(puke) all the time? what if??????
Fears: Making my will
Fears: Maybe I still won't be able to make the changes permanent!! I'm finding that portion size is my biggest enemy. I'm fighting most of the emotional eating. (lost yesterday, but starting new today) Pizza: can't stop, eat all. Chips and salsa(my favorite ever): eat all
Excitement:I'm looking at clothes. Smaller sizes. Size 14 sounds beautiful to me. What if I got even lower? How cool would that be?
Excitement: Hiking without feeling out of place.
Excitement: Riding a rollercoaster again.
Excitement: swinging with a kid on the swingset
Excitement: the seatbelt fitting nicely
Excitement: looking adorable in my clothes
Excitement: sitting in a theatre chair without touching every inch of it
Excitement: sitting in the back seat with 2 people, not the front cause I'm the biggest
Excitement: wearing a swimsuit comfortably
Excitement: maybe tanning a little just for color
Excitement: people being able to buy clothes for me since my size isn't so embarrassing
Excitement: going to that TKD class and kicking butt!!!!!!

Yeah, more excitement than fear.